Thursday, April 23, 2009

FUNNIEST JOKES

Flash news: 
  A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . 
  
  Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

One day Sardarji was driving his new car. Suddenly, he collided with a bicycle. The accident caused much damage to the bicycle and the guy was furious. Sardarji ran towards him mumbling apologies, but the man was not pacified. 
  
  He shouted at sardar got a stout stick and starting hammering it on the windshield. Sardarji was shocked and tried to take the stick from him, requesting him to stop. But the bicycle man (who was incidently very stout) got hold of the Sardarji and carried him ten meters away from his car. He drew a small circle near the road with the stick and asked Sardarji to stay inside and not move outside the circle, threatening him with his stout stick for better measure. 
  
  Now our Sardarji was not very brave at heart and coolly went to stand in the circle. The man goes back to what he had left in the middle and starts on the headlights. After this, he starts on the rearlights. As soon as he breaks the first one, he hears a faint chuckle from the Sardarji. He breaks the other one, now he could distinctly hear the Sardarji laugh slightly. Enraged, he goes to the Sardarji and asks him why he was laughing. Sardarji says that it was nothing. 
  
  He comes backs and resumes his assault on the poor car and as he goes on in this act, Sardarji's laughs become louder and louder. Enraged, the bicycle man increases his assault , but the laughs keep on increasing rather than decreasing. 
  
  At last, the bicycle man can't stop himself. He goes to the Sardar and taking him by the collar, asks him the reason for laughing. Our Sardar at first says it was nothing, but when the man starts getting really rough, he breaks down. He says "If I tell you, you will beat me". The bicycle man, now very curious, promises not to do anything if the Sardar tells him.
  
  Satisfied about his safety, our Sardarji says "You know, while u were engaged there, I came out of the circle seventeen times."

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. 
  
  One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji. Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together. 
  
  One fine day-the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tomorrow, i will jump from the 20th floor and die".
  
  Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says, If I find fish in my lunch box tomorrow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die".
  
  Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tomorrow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor"
  
  Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
  
  The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies. 
  
  Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps
  from the 20th floor and dies.
  
  In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch".
  
  The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch"
  
  The sardarji's widow says 
"I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch!"

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
  Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
  Sardar thinks "how poetic"
  Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

No comments: